Ahh, the Lone STAAR State. With the end of spring break we get into full-on testing season. We fast from regular schedules in favor of more disciplined stamina building test prep, the school desert. Pre-pre tests. Check the data bible to make sure we’re following everything TEA says is all good and holy. The gospels tell us what should’ve been taught by now, what still needs to be taught, what may or may not be tested and then the prophets warn us to prepare for field test questions. Testing demons attack on the day of the test(s) and even tempt kids and adults to quit before they start.
The congregation met today after school. We received intensive study lessons focused on Testing Commandments. We learned about possible sins: students cheating, teachers scoring tests, helping with test items, marking on an answer document, switching answer documents, working on a different test, stepping out of the room, lack of monitoring students, starting and stopping times, keeping visual aids uncovered. Taking a nap.
We also learned about mortal and venial test administration errors. Scoring a test before returning it. Mortal TAE (test administration error). A student in the wrong testing room before the test starts. Venial TAE. However, both testing sins must be reported to the high priest of testing commonly known as the CTC, Campus Testing Coordinator.
Ex-communication from a church at least allows us to settle our differences with God. Texas flat out revokes teaching licenses. No absolution. No redemption.
We all wear blank looks because our lesson requires us all to stare at the camera Jan Brady style. TEA gospel. We already took some independent study courses and earned our certificates. Confirmation of our ability to test students requires one more class. Some of us have been chosen to earn an esteemed designation of OTA, Oral Test Administrator. I received my certificate yesterday, a fresh parchment looking document I filled in with my name and the date ready to download and send off the the CTC.
It’s a demanding time, but we all celebrate when it’s over. One more class to go. I get to confess my training and qualifications by signing the Oath and submitting it to the CTC. One step closer to TEA sainthood.
Nerds Beget Nerds 
Oh my goodness, I had no idea about any testing in the US, let alone Texas, it sounds horrendous, pressured and unfair. Your comparison to the church is interesting, but I won’t go into that. I wonder if they even regard the students and you teachers as humans and not machines or robots, to churn out the allotted tasks and perform on point? Here’s hoping you survive another season of testing!
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Texas is notorious for testing. I suppose they’ll get a baseline for testing during a pandemic.
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Well written. Yes, I agree, that’s how I feel about testing. We are still awaiting a decision on remote learners taking the state test.
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I have so loved reading your posts this month! You have such a whimsical style of writing and it brings a smile to my face. Testing is no joke and it is sad how much pressure is put on both teachers and students.
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Thank you for reading! I didn’t know I had a style, so I appreciate the feedback. I, too, am enjoying your posts.
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You definitely has a style making it so fun! Thanks for reading as well!
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You plucked at the feelings I have towards my cradle Catholic CCD lessons AND my years of administering those state tests that only the bishops in the legislature seem to love. Love this Slice!
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I apparently didn’t learn anything in my adult religious ed classes, lol! The sins are mortal and venial, smh…I made the correction, but I think most knew what I meant.
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Yes! Funny lady.
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I love the sarcasm dripping from this piece. I love the list of sins and mortal/venial errors, and this: “Ex-communication from a church at least allows us to settle our differences with God. Texas flat out revokes teaching licenses. No absolution. No redemption. ” Definitely should earn us all another step closer to sainthood!
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