Navigating the Kitchen

Sunday, March 27, 2022

When you get there, go to the right. It’s in the back on the right. Second shelf. Behind the French onion dip, stacked on top of the leftover rice. Blank stare. Right, left, turn around? Top? Bottom? Confusion ensues. It’s in there, it won’t jump out at you. You have to search for it. Even more confusion. If it isn’t in front, why is there such apprehension to move something out of the way? I clean out the fridge every Sunday, so there’s nothing that has grown fuzzy enough to grow teeth and bite.

Okay, let’s try this: Find the milk. Go south. Stop. Too far. Go north a shelf. Now go east. Move that container, bingo! You found the queso!

Is it me or do other people have to help someone navigate the fridge or pantry? Google Fridge Maps should be a thing.

12 thoughts on “Navigating the Kitchen

    1. Lol! If it’s not in front at eye level, no one sees it. But if I hide a slice of cake or something yummy for myself, they can find it with their eyes closed.

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  1. Fun move, just jumping into the directions and saving the reflection for later. My fridge is usually relatively deserted. Pro: No fuzzy threats. Con: Not always much else to find either.

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    1. My mom’s house…she moves things every time I visit. The drawer with the silverware gets switched to plastic lids. The one with the dish towels has switched to plastic lids. I can’t find anything in her kitchen.

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  2. I think the idea of Google Fridge is a great idea! I love your beginning, where you’re describing so clearly exactly where to look, and love the combination of exasperation and humor when the other person can’t find it.

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    1. This one was fun, quick, and almost happened in real time. I was on my way to the back porch with my computer to draft my slice when I stopped to give directions.

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