years ago I wondered why eating dinner made me queasy twenty one years ago we drove around looked at an empty lot paid for it and stared at each other dumbfounded did we just purchase a new home? twenty one years ago we found out there's a baby on the way to help us occupy it so much expectation in those twenty one years growth pain possibilities struggle lucky number seven three times over
“Someday I’m going to be a grown-up like you and I’ll have to use that fork thing when I eat. So let me be a kid and eat my broccoli however I want, even if it’s with my fingers.”
She’s not wrong. I mean, she is eating the broccoli, I observe as she kicks her legs back and forth in her seat at the kitchen table. Her seat since she turned one. Same spot. No one sits there. If they do, she reminds them there are other places to sit.
I’m the one who gave her frozen broccoli florets when she was three. I thought it was odd, but that’s what her home daycare sitter did. She’d give all the kids florets of frozen broccoli on hot afternoons. Any time I took some out to add the obligatory green vegetable side dish to our dinner, she asked for a piece. In my curiosity, I gave her one, expecting her to toss it aside. She ate the whole thing and asked for more. Then she ate more at dinner.
Okay, so broccoli is a thing. She likes it, so why fight it? Now, it only gets eaten with seasoned salt. Small pieces. Warm, not frozen. Sometimes she’ll stab a fork into it, but I still see her occasionally get some with her fingers. I don’t argue anymore, because yes, sooner than I’d like, she’s going to be a grown-up like me and have to use that fork thing when she eats.
Summer Moon my favorite coffee shop oldies on loud espresso machine hisses and steams everyone's orders stair-stepped mini-bleachers hold a single to-go order because Sundays are for sitting and sipping a steaming mid-day cup on a cold, sunny spring day waiting for warm weather to pounce and stay soon warm drinks will be ordered over ice cups dripping with condensation it's noisy people catching up winding down sipping away the weekend, a week-long break, a few more hours until tomorrow where we all wake up and do it all over again, with a quick home-brewed coffee to chase the sleep away
I've perched at the end of the kitchen table in front of the back porch window facing the front door It became my desk grad school homework nonstop for three years. I nested there awaiting my possibilities adding to the space making it as cozy as one can make a kitchen table competing with family meals kids' homework craft projects during down time and breaks junk mail wine glasses coffee mugs papers waiting to be graded Time passed, yet I still perch at the end of the kitchen table in front of the back porch window facing the front door It has become my desk morning pages, three of them every day (mostly) for over four years flanked on the right with a writing cabinet wine glasses and unopened bottles of wine occupy the top shelf waiting to be sipped This morning, I changed my seat and now I perch on the long side of the kitchen table to the right of the back porch window next to my son's favorite seat, occupied only when he visits, leaving the front door behind enjoying a better view
Hey Judy,
Me again. This time I’m not asking for advice on big life lessons. I want to say thank you. Thank you for writing great books. They got me through puberty. And now, there’s A MOVIE!
I can’t wait to watch Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret. Did this happen intentionally? Were you thinking about making this a possibility years after you published every pre-pubescent girl’s guide to body changes on purpose? How many pre, peri, regular, and post menopausal women will be in every theater across the country when it opens?
We’ll drag our daughters by the ears to watch it with us. (Do they even read anymore?). I’m orchestrating a watch party, at one of my favorite eatery theaters of course, because we must have access to fancy snacks and mimosas. Beer. Wine. Cocktails. I’m sure my favorite place will have a full menu of book related fare and fancy sips.
I might sneak in a pack of Oreo cookies, take a stack of four, and put two back as a nod to Blubber. I’ll drink a glass of orange juice before I get there in honor of Deenie. I’ll buy a brand new bra so I’m ready for “We must, we must, we must increase our busts!” However, in this case, it doesn’t need increasing, just lifting. I will mortify my thirteen year old with no shame.
I read this book twice in middle school. Years later, it was part of a Banned Books display in our school library one year when I took my class. Two boys were curious, I explained why it was my favorite, and they each checked out a copy. “There’s no better way to learn about girls than to read about them.” Sold!
I plan an adult me reading of it before the movie is released. I’m looking forward to loving it all over again.
Your Faithful Book Fan,
Ally
*Occasionally, I write to Judy Blume.
Fabled Bookshop and Cafe has another little hiding place. Upon entering and scanning the layout, plotting my first bookcase to peruse, I noticed an adorable writing nook (occupied) on the left side past Aesop. A writer, deep in thought, oblivious to those entering behind her. I glanced her way, took note, and on we went.
Later, I went back to that section where the travel books take you wherever you want to go. The nook was unoccupied, its writer a ghost of a memory. Who was she? What did she write? How long was she there? Is she a regular?
My daughter took a seat. “I can do homework here, no distractions.”
“I can write in my journals here, no distractions,” I agreed.
It’s a small desk with and a steel book holder and potted plant lit by a wall sconce. That’s it. We noticed a single desk drawer.
“Open it.”
She opens the drawer. A pile of hand-written notes (the best kind) greet us, happy to get a breath of fresh air. “Ooh, notes! Do you have paper so I can add a drawing?”
No, I didn’t have paper.
Already having spent a chunk of time there, my companions’ patience wore thin. I’ll only read one. I’ll come back another time. Solo. I can spend the entire day here. Of course, I didn’t say that out loud.
I took one note and read it.
Yes, I do have dreams so big, it scares me half to death to chase them.
You?
Ever find that secret little spot unexpectedly? I found one last summer, a secret garden* of sorts, tucked into a cul-de-sac in my neighborhood. I visited agin this morning.
Monday, we took a day trip to a book store I had been eyeing. Local book shops are my favorite spaces because they’re full of charm and quiet energy.
Within walking distance from our lunch spot, we visited Fabled Bookshop and Cafe in Waco, Tx. Upon entering, Aesop the Owl welcomed us with a tip of his hat. The book cases, dark and cozy, held the usual sorts of books. Shelf talkers, scripted by employees introducing people to their next great read, persuaded me to choose them from the shelf, if not add them to my TBR list.
I always like to check out the kid’s section even though my youngest is thirteen. She upgraded to the YA section, but the lure of kid lit always draws me in at least to take a peek.
I didn’t find it, but my daughter did. I gasped in excitement, so much as to cause her embarrassment even though the two year old writhing away from her mom trying to read her a picture book on the blue velvet couch barely noticed us.
Faux fur coats hung neatly in a built-in wardrobe. We parted the coats on the rack, and sure enough, there’s a door! Is it real? Does it open or is it just for show?
She hunches down, pushes the door, and sure enough, it opens to the other side, the YA section, of all places. As she makes her way through, a group of college aged kids are on the other side, hunched down, making their way in.
“Come on in! The White Witch is gone and Mr. Tumnus has hot tea waiting for us,” I playfully say in my best Lucy voice.
“Oh, yes, we shall come in!” Through the door they enter the kid’s section.
What a gem of a book shop.
*You can read about A Secret Garden here.
Enchanted Rock. It’ll enchant you to want to hop on boulders and flit around like a mountain goat until you realize you’ve gone too far and the only way to a trail, any trail, is down. And it’s steep. If you hike often and lift lots of weights, no problem. We don’t. Sure, side stepping your way down works, unless the descent is too steep. Without rails and nothing to hold on to. Slide down if need be. If you’re wearing weather proof shorts, you’ve got the perfect seat to a fast slide all the way down a massive pink granite rock.
Don’t lose the trail map. On second thought, study the trail map, make a plan, and read about what’s on the other side. Not many people going your direction? That’s a slap in the face, shake you back and forth until your eyes pop out sort of sign that maybe you’re going the wrong way. The hard way. The way meant for experienced hikers twenty years younger. The guy rappelling down the boulders you went around? Yeah, he won’t be able to save you.
Toes slide to the ends of shoes as you have a death grip on the rock trying not to lose your footing. Stay balanced. Focus. One foot in front of the other, lean back a little, bend the knees. Be patient, be patient, be patient. Once you get going it’s hard to stop so if you want to jump step it down, you’d better be ready and balanced for what’s coming.
There’s a trail. No one is on it. This goes to the lake. The car is on the other side. How far to go around because we so are NOT going back up to the other side. Go back. Regroup. Thank goodness for the checkpoint telling us YOU ARE HERE with an arrow marking our spot. Yes, we are, here, but how do we get out?
Take the other trail. But Mom! It looks like we have to go back UP! I can’t do that again!
More people. That’s a good sign. Better than the map. Keep going. It’s a bit rocky, but nothing close to what we just went through. Aha! Here we are. Everything looks familiar. Stop for a snack. Guess who thought of packing them? Take more glugs of water.
Dad! This is the way we came up!
And the way we should’ve come down. Who says adventures are always fun?
Life lessons learned: Together, you’ll get through steep descents and boulders. Sometimes, you’ll slide down on your ass.
2 books x 3 inches x 1,020 pages. B x In. x Pp, are those the standard dimensions for a TBR tower? Mine is so much more than a pile. After discussing my break-up books in yesterday’s post, I took a day trip to a fantastic little books store. My budget didn’t allow for more, but I wound up with two more books to add to my TBR (to be read) tower.
I wasn’t planning it this way, the magic of the universe, (God?) pieces things together in more perfect ways than I can ever imagine. I purchased two “Catholic” books. Fitting during Lent. Rather than lamenting over authors I’ve never read and shaming myself for it, I admit I never read anything by Flannery O’Connor.
I heard she was an incredible writer. Oddly (perfectly) enough, a few years ago during Lent, I watched a video series by Bishop Robert Barron called The Pivotal Players-Fulton J. Sheen & Flannery O’Connor. Fascinated with her life and writing process, I was introduced to A Good Man is Hard to Find, along with an analysis of that work. I put her books in my Amazon cart. It must have been 2020 because I couldn’t get to the library or Half Price Books to poke around the shelves to look through her books. They stayed deep in my virtual cart because I wanted to take a peek first. Are her books those I want to own? Will we break up? Will I read and return them, dust myself off, and move on with my life?
Another find practically leaped off the shelf and straight into my arms. I carried that book around the bookstore like it was a textbook; it weighs about as much. I heard about this one from a guy named Matt Fradd on Instagram, and have listened to some of his Pints with Aquinas podcast episodes. That led me to another Instagram account, drinkingsaints, and here we are.
I like that I can pop in as often as I can with these books. Short stories. Saint stories. Plus mixology recipes. I’ll sip (and read) to that!
Abandonment sounds so final. If it isn’t a good fit, there’s no point to continue reading. However, I’m the type who wants to hang on until the end, gives me more to talk about if I don’t like it. I use the term “breaking up with a book” to explain to students to move on and find something else if they aren’t connecting with their selections. It’ll still be there if you want to go back to it later, I tell them.
Why don’t I take my own advice? Why would you want to read a book you aren’t enjoying? I do it to myself. I’m loyal. Even with books. Usually.
I’m on a re-reading streak of some favorites. Deenie by Judy Blume. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on audio (so good!). The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I need to stop here because I’m already overloading my list. This in addition my regular TBR tower, which groans under the heft of a new book I can’t resist when I’m shopping. I buy the ones that have library waitlists longer than several months.
I’m a slow reader, so if a book sounds like a great read, I usually buy it so I can spend all the time I need with it. Unfortunately, it takes me a while to get to them.
Beyond the queue, I’m considering adding break-up books. For different reasons, I couldn’t handle them at the time I picked them up. Dare I go back?
I broke up with A Wrinkle in Time as a kid, as a teacher, and as a parent. I checked this book out every year in middle school. I couldn’t get past the first few chapters. I tried reading it to my fourth graders one year. They weren’t crazy about it, we reassessed, and chose something else.
When the 2018 movie was released, the one with Oprah, my nine year old requested the book. We got a copy after having watched the movie, which is the opposite of our books-to-movie household rule. I started reading it aloud to her and she intercepted the book after the first few chapters. Book dumped. Similar to being Netflix dumped, but with a book. She finished it without me. It wasn’t a favorite, but she enjoyed it while it lasted. I seem to stop every time after, who is it–Mrs. Whatsit?– shows up.
The Hobbit. Fourth time’s a charm? I also broke up with this one as a kid, as a teacher, and as a parent. I have it on Audible. It’s next in line after I finish HP2, which is due tomorrow. I watched the movie with my oldest and enjoyed it. This one might work.
I once read or heard somewhere that people need to listen to great stories. Was it Neil Gaiman?
Those great classics? They’re meant to be read aloud. They sound different when you hear them. I enjoyed Harry Potter, but listening takes it to a whole other level. If it’s a great listen, I can always go to the book to annotate, highlight favorite passages, and maybe add it to my TBRA pile, to be read again, in print.
I’m sure there are more, but here are other book relationships that didn’t work out, each for different reasons. I may rekindle these by listening instead. (Except for Verity, I flat out didn’t like that one.)
Neil Gaiman on reading aloud and audiobooks linked here.
Nerds Beget Nerds 