Plant Lady Goals

My husband brought some orchids home from work a few years ago, along with other plants whose names I’ve failed to learn. Beat up and battered, lacking water, light, a bigger pot, fresh soil, managers offered them to employees.

“Here, I brought some plants.”

I stare at him as if he brought a stray dog someone left on the side of the road. I stopped buying plants because I kill them. Not on purpose. When I take care of them, they die. If I neglect them, water them when they’re limp and yellow, hanging over the side of the pot, they perk up.

“You know, I’m not good with plants. I’ll finish killing them, but if you want to re-pot them, go for it. I’ll get to them when I remember.”

Sure enough, some didn’t make it, but surprisingly, a lot of them did. They’re still all over the house, mainly on one side. If I move them, they get persnickety. The orchids haven’t bloomed in a while, but I hear they’re slow. They’re still green though. I douse them when I can…today is good. I can’t remember the last time I watered them. I should be nicer.

I bought a strawberry plant and put it in a small tabletop greenhouse that sits on the kitchen window sill. I meant to plant it outside, maybe a strawberry or two will grow. For the ants. It never made it. Our icepocalypse (seems to be an annual event now) arrived and it stayed indoors. I checked it a few minutes ago. A few leaves are getting mushy. Looks like I’ve overwatered even though I don’t remember giving it a drink.

The orchids are still okay. They need refreshment and some dusting.

Last month, I went into my man child’s old bedroom. He left two small shriveled up succulents. Are they dead? Do I throw them out? Why not experiment?

I brought them down, doused them in a ton of water, and let them be. Within a day, they perked up, still a little shriveled, but certainly hopeful. I added a little more. Sure enough, I brought them back from the dead. They’ve made plant friends and are doing well.

Besides a good, strong drink, I think they needed the company.

Thursday, March 2, 2023