Tracker Hackers

Adult chore charts
Reading logs gone wild
Oh brain,
why can't you learn to 
bend a little?

If I fill every box
every day
does that mean I'm 
suffocating?

If I skip a week,
two,
three,
does that mean I'm dead?

No.
It means 
I'm too
busy,
flat out gave up
for a bit,
went on 
vacation

Too rigid?
Perhaps
I like to see 
the ebb and flow
of life
on paper
[I must] take care
not to become
over dependent on them,
after all,
am I focusing on
checking off little boxes
or on the better, 
bigger things 
around me?

They're a shot 
in my arm,
accountability
for (hopefully) doing 
the right things
that are hard to do
so I can be better
at the ones 
that matter

They're a heartbeat 
of sorts
multicolored
messy 
proof that I'm doing my
best at life

I've seen interesting ones:
meatless Mondays
no sugar
no booze
daily journaling
wordle
dating
no spending
devotionals
screen time (usually less)
social media posts (usually more)

Mine remain steady, 
seems I can't build those [good]
habits
yet

I've tried giving up
tracking everything
becoming robotic
in spewing out 
my own 
data
my internal 
algorithm
can't seem 
to compute
making me feel 
like a failure 
at times

I still go back to them
proving
I can create habits
for behaviors
I need to change
adding challenges
through 
my own volition

(like writing 
for 31 days
straight)

9 thoughts on “Tracker Hackers

  1. I loved this poem on habit tracking! It’s a difficult practice for me as well, but I loved the lines reflecting on both the challenges and celebrations of tracking your habits!

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    1. Hi Erica. I feel like I accomplish so much when I have everything checked off. I keep at it, though, trying not to beat myself up over skipping some days.

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  2. I love this! I think I’ll read it again – quite a few times ha! My husband and I just had this conversation about needing to track our habits and keep ourselves accountable with spreadsheets or monthly goals for activities like reading. Does it seem silly to need to give yourself a checkmark for reading for 20 mins? Definitely. But do I feel like I would read daily without it? Possibly not. It’s crazy how once you start, your brain starts to forget what you do on the daily

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Too rigid?
    Perhaps
    I like to see
    the ebb and flow
    of life
    on paper

    Favorite line! I feel like you wrote this TO me. Love love love. I’m obsessed with trackers, but I quickly get filled with shame and guilt and then insist I need a tracker for that too 🤣

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  4. The “reading logs gone wild” line made me laugh out loud! I’ve never been successful at keeping reading logs. In January I finally made a goodread’s account in hopes that I will be better able to track my reading life… Here’s to establishing habits?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It appears my reply didn’t go through…
      I started keeping a reader’s journal/notebook last year. I’ve only added half the books I read in 2022 and only one has the full entry in it. I forget to enter everything on Goodreads. I keep track by looking back at my Audible and Libby accounts for my audiobooks. Every day is an adventure. Happy book tracking!

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